Humor :D Feeling low? Here’s something to cheer you up.

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "Why do Airplanes Fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

gatopreto wrote:Pinched this from a website, citing funny employer's appraisals of their employees

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

Love 17 (I actually work with such a person ) and 24

Mickey wrote:

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike Says

Failed panda mating - veterinarian takes over

Love those two .
Talking about golf, here are some golf jokes

Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course." "Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth.”

A guy was on a holiday in Mexico and rented a car to go to the nearest golfcourse for a round of golf. When he returned the car, the man in the car rental agency noticed that the golfer had dropped something in the front seat and said: "Excuse me, sir, but are these yours?" "Yes, thanks, those are my tees." "What do you do with them?" "I put my balls on them when I drive..."

"Caddy, why do you keep looking at your watch?" asked the curious golfer."It's not a watch, sir. It's a compass"

A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the heck out of the buttercups.
Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere.
She blocks the path to her golfbag, looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you've treated my buttercups. From now on...you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." The mystery woman then disappeared as quickly as she appeared.
Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband, "Hey, where's your ball?"
"It's over here in the pussy willows," he replied.
The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DO NOT HIT THE BALL!!!!

-End game items, so I need a Book of Secrets (I got the prophecies end game item)
-My miniature varresh (any way to get this without buying one since I own a CE?)
-All my preorder items I cna just make with /bonus

Mandala wrote:Check this out I love cats but this one is so cute, sweet and funny at the same time I could eat it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78u8QdngLy4

gatopreto wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU&feature=related

This show is actually really good, all on the youtube channel. Finally, people who are on our level!

I suggest we all make costumes of our main chars in GW and make a party